My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day long, for their number is past my knowledge...You who have done great things, O God, who is like you?
Psalm 71:15, 19b
Psalm 71 has always been particularly special to me, for it is the Psalm that Dad claimed for me at my baptism over 15 years ago. One of the themes that runs through this psalm is that of praising God for his mighty deeds and proclaiming his "power to all those to come." (vv18b) Over the past many years, I have come to see more and more that the pen is a means to proclaim this greatness as well as to preserve for future generations the gracious and awesome deeds of our God.
Recently, as I have been reflecting on God's goodness in my own life - how he has led and provided and filled my days and years with so many worthwhile pursuits - it suddenly dawned on me that I needed to capture those moments and experiences on paper to provide for myself and for those behind me a written record of God's faithfulness, a history of his abundant provision and a memorial of his greatness and power.
So I invite you to join me as I walk a path tracing the conception and fulfillment of a heart's desire that has blossomed into opportunities that I never dreamed were on the horizon for me. It's a story that remains yet unfinished, but its beginning only fans into flame anticipation for what God has next. His ways are mysterious - but they are indeed marvelous!
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The Big Question
All high school graduates face the same daunting questions which, for some, have no ready answers:
"Where are you going to school?" What's your major?" "What are you going to do with your life?" Those years following graduation and being ushered into the "real"world can be some of the most challenging, especially for those who can't seem to carve out a plan for the next five or ten years of their lives. I know from experience, for I was one of them.
After I graduated from high school, it seemed as if God put an interest in my heart that I couldn't seem to figure out what he wanted me to do with. I distinctly remember the day when I told Mom that I was keenly interested in politics. But what did God have specifically for me with it??? I did not have the foggiest idea. I didn't necessarily feel called to major in political science or pursue a law degree. All I could tell them was that the desire to be involved in the political arena was strong and continued to grow stronger day
by day. As the months and years went by and I prayed and prayed and prayed asking for God's wisdom and direction, it seemed as though he wasn't answering, and that the restlessness inside only continued to grow greater and greater until at times it had me in tears.
Those were extremely hard days and months. I recall praying to God with desperation: "What do I do? How do you want me using this interest?" I also remember having extensive conversations with Dad and Mom regarding life direction. How patient they were with me! We talked, we explored options, we prayed together, and I was encouraged not to ignore what was in my heart. Many questions, continued searching - all that seemed to lead nowhere.
God Leads, Step By Step
In those dark moments when it seemed as if my life was going in an aimless direction and God felt so distant, He was indeed working in ways I could not fully see. It is faith that causes one to understand that there is purpose in apparent hold-ups, advancement in dead ends, beautiful growth in hardship and trial.
And this is what God did for me. His timetable certainly did not match my own, but the story he was writing was one only he could mastermind. The little things, the next small steps were all preparation for the fulfillment of what he planted in my heart.
The year 2005 was a time of transition for our family. Laura was married in March, and the three remaining at home began to branch out and pursue individualized areas of interest. That same month a friend from my church, knowing my interest in politics, invited me to spend a day with her at the Indiana Statehouse and participate in one of their tours. That was an incredible day for me! I literally fell in love with the place and people and knew I wanted to do something there - but I didn't know what it was.
During that year of continued searching and prayer, God also opened the door for me to begin serving at my local church as the administrative assistant. This in and of itself was a dream come true for me, a marvelous work of God! Through this position in a safe environment with people who encouraged and nurtured me, I grew in proficiency and confidence as well as discovered another area of interest: graphic design. Unknown to me, all these elements were vital in God's next chapter of my life story.
God leads step by step. Though so often I want to see the full picture and know where I'm headed, it's very rare that God chooses to work that way. This is why it is so important that we are faithful in the little things and that we trust God as we watch him lead step by step.
More Pieces
During those first several years working at my church as I learned how to manage an office and grew in my knowledge of basic and more advanced computer skills, I continued to ponder the area of politics, still being quite puzzled as to how God would have me use it. But beyond being actively involved in this arena, God also began putting on my heart the need for
prayer in this arena - prayer for our country and for those holding office. As I daily read his Word, verses and passages of Scripture continued to pop out at me as specific ways to pray for our leaders. During my 40 minute commute to work four days a week, I would pray these Scriptures for my country and for those serving in office who claimed the name of Christ.
Those hours spent on my knees were another piece in God's puzzle, for I began to be more and more burdened for the spiritual state of our leaders rather than necessarily being caught up in the politics of politics. Yes, I did enjoy the "political" side, but what raptured my attention more was the pursuit of the Kingdom in politics, the gospel of Christ going forth and changing the lives of men and women.
Through mutual acquaintances, I became familiar with organizations such as the Center for Christian Statesmanship based in Washington, DC as well as local ministries in our own statehouse such as Public Servants' Prayer founded by Matthew Barnes. The latter ministry in particular held my interest. My church financially supported the ministry and occasionally invited Matt to come and present a report of what God was doing through him in the heart of our own capitol. I always became excited when I heard his presentations and signed my family up to receive his monthly newsletters.
The Path Unfolds
After working in the church office for almost two years, I began to ponder if there was something in addition to this position that God wanted me to pursue. I didn't want to necessarily find another job that would pull me away from serving my church family. It would take something unique, something that was part-time which I could do on the side as I worked in the office. Once again, though, I felt like I hit a wall - I didn't know what this would look like or how it could possibly happen.
In December 2008 during the holiday break, I vividly recall having another conversation with Mom discussing these matters. As we pondered together what I could possibly do in addition to working in the office I said,
"If Matt Barnes ever needed administrative help, I'd sure love to do it! But that would never happen. He doesn't know me..."
Why did I doubt the ability of God? Humanly speaking yes, it seemed impossible. But, as I was soon to find out, with God all things are possible.
It was the
very next afternoon that we received in the mail a ministry update from Matthew Barnes. I was reading the second page towards the end when I almost couldn't believe my eyes. There Matt expressed that he and his wife Miriam were praying for someone to come alongside them and support them with the administrative details of the ministry. They didn't know who that would be, but they had a great need and were asking their supporters to pray with them for God's provision.
I was stunned. Could it be this was God's answer for me
and them?
After some discussion with Dad and Mom as well as my church leadership and receiving their blessing to explore this possible opportunity, I contacted Matt. This was a bold step for me. He didn't know me and I didn't know him. I didn't want to get my hopes too high. I was a total stranger to them and knew it would take supernatural gut for them to even entertain the idea.
A Desire Fulfilled
Well, this was indeed God's provision for me and the Barnes family. It was during the 2009 legislative session that I joined Matt's team and entered the political arena through a ministry focused on bringing the gospel to our state's leaders. So amazing, truly a work of God! I am indebted to Matt and Miriam for opening their hearts and lives to me and giving me the opportunity to learn and grow alongside them.
Incredible doors of opportunity have opened to me through being a part of
Public Servants' Prayer and now
Capitol Commission Indiana. The administrative skills I refined in working for my church proved to be an invaluable asset as Matt delegated more and more to me. And my interest in graphic design took on new levels as Matt relied on me for much of his promotional materials and had me create the initial logo for Public Servants' Prayer.
I have also been able to interact with Indiana's leaders on a spiritual level and participate in calling on churches to know their leaders, pray for them, and find ways to minister to them as they serve Hoosiers in public office. I've been blessed to coordinate multiple prayer services, Pastors' Statehouse Days, Women's Days and other events at the Statehouse as well as manage many of the administrative details that come with a fruitful and growing ministry. I have met people I thought I'd never meet and attended events I never imagined I would attend. And all because of God's amazing work and gracious provision.
Well Worth the Wait
All those years of waiting and silence were working towards something, something that I couldn't ever fathom. Had I been impatient and taken matters into my own hands, I don't know that I would be where I am today. There were honestly days that I did doubt God's ability and power, but as the years went by and I continued to wait on him, he began to replace that doubt with a quiet confidence and assurance, an assurance that rested in his character and power rather than my ability and ingenuity.
It was well worth the wait! Many days as I reflect on the path God has taken me, my heart breaks forth in praise and thanksgiving. He has indeed accomplished above and beyond all that I could ever ask or think.
As I said at the beginning, the story isn't finished. But the foundation that God has laid in my heart through these years and experiences gives me hope and anticipation for how he'll continue to lead in the future. It may be totally unconventional and diametrically opposed to human logic. But it
will be beautiful because
God will be praised and glorified.
So take heart. Your present circumstances may be similar to my own years of searching and waiting. Always remember that God is working and that he is using every detail in your life to prepare you for service in his Kingdom. It is not a waste. He will show you the path, and it will be something that brings him great honor and glory.
The ways of God - mysterious and yet so marvelous.
You who have done great things, O God, who is like you?
2015 Statehouse Prayer Service
