Eyes to See

I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me.  In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord...I will remember the deeds of the Lord, yes I will remember your wonders of old.  (Psalm 77:1-2, 11)

At the beginning of the year 2013, I felt like I was walking in a thick, black fog.  All my eyes could see were the struggles and heartaches facing me on all sides, and most days I awoke with a heart filled with fear, disappointment, and endless questions that seemed to have no answers.   The discouragements of my heart built a huge wall that seemed to hinder my steps and block my view from seeing beyond the troubles of the day.  I was stuck, caught in a deep mire that pulled me deeper and deeper into its grip even as I tried to fight back and go on.  

There were two spiritual disciplines of life that never waned throughout this time:  personal Bible study and times of prayer.  It was through these means of grace that God carried me through a dark valley and restored my soul.  

In mid-January, I began to realize that my perspective was askew and that a drastic re-adjustment needed to take place.  But I felt utterly helpless to change.  It seemed like everything was working against me - my emotions, my physical well-being, my natural responses to life and its pressures, etc.  But when God finally brought me to the end of myself, He gave me the desire to humbly ask this of Him:  "Father, give me eyes to see your goodness and cultivate in me a heart of gratitude."  

In talking with a friend shortly thereafter, they mentioned that they daily wrote down one gift that they saw God give them that day.  My heart instantly responded to that idea.  In order to cultivate a heart of gratitude and train my eyes to see life differently, I needed to consciously consider, "What has God done for me today?"

So, on January 18, 2013, I started my "God's Gifts to Me" journal.  I purposed that for one year I would daily record one gift of God to me.

Sounds easy, right?  Well, for me it wasn't - at first.  This exercise was quite revealing for when I decided to begin this journal, the trials of life only increased and intensified.  When I sat down at the end of the day with my pen in hand, I had to think hard.  I had to push aside my emotions and discouragements and look for evidences of God's love and provision for me.  My early entries reveal the depths to which I stooped to notice the simple things coming from God's hand:  the chirping birds on a spring day that reminded me a new season was here, the warmth of the sun on my skin after a cold winter, an email from a friend, a text message from another, etc.  They were simple things.  Yes, it didn't seem as if God was providing for any of the "big" issues going on in my life, but I slowly began to realize that He was indeed giving me good gifts and that He did indeed love me.  

Gradually, as the days and weeks wore on and I continued to write, the thick fog I felt trapped in begin to lift, and my joy at God's present work in my life returned.

"Eyes to see.."  I am so grateful that God led me to pray that prayer in January!  Although God had me walk through fiery trials during that time, He taught me that it is possible to possess a joyful, trusting spirit as long as my eyes are focused on Him and my heart is grateful for all that He does for me - big or small.

Eight months later this exercise has become easier - almost second-nature!  And not only has God enlarged my vision, but He has also given me a record of His faithfulness that I can read during seasons of doubt as well as share with future generations.  

This journal has become a treasure to me.  So I challenge you: Do your eyes truly see, and is your heart grateful?